My Infinite Wisdom on Making Friends

Me and my best friend Rigby.Make new friends

But keep the old

One is silver

And the other gold.

These are lyrics of a song that is stuck in my head.

I was unable to find the name of the author, but according to Anita, of Song Scouting, the original lyrics date to at least the 1920’s. No clue who Anita is, but that’s the best Google and I could do at giving credit.

I first heard this song from a big purple dinosaur named Barney. If you were anywhere near public television in the early 90’s chances are you’ve heard it too. It’s also a Girl Scout song.

You know how annoying it is when a song gets stuck in your head? I even catch myself humming it.

So why do I have a Barney song stuck in my head? Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about friends, or more specifically about making friends.

If you’ve been following us, you know that we have – once again – turned our world upside down. Only this time instead of hitting the road, we’ve come off the road in Southern California. We are once again homeowners and once again residing in a neighborhood, only this time it’s a neighborhood for the 55+ crowd. (Other Half reminds me it’s a “community” not a neighborhood.)

The community is full of nice people. We’re nice people. This friend thing has to start somewhere – seems like a good place to start. For Other Half it started on the golf course while wintering here the last three years. Not so much for me. So far our start at friends in the community consists of waving at each other from our golf carts, small talk at the gym and sharing dog stories while poop scooping at the park.                 

A few of our new neighbors have stopped by, one even brought us mini strawberry rhubarb pies from Costco. Like I said, nice people.

This friend thing is a piece of cake, or pie, so what am I worried about?

Over the years when I’ve observed other people in a similar situation, I’ve offered up my stellar advice on making friends. Here’s a sampling of my favorites:

Just be yourself. This one is especially annoying. Who else would you be???

Smile. Smile. Smile. Ok. Ok. Ok.

Be interested. Not interesting.

Join. Join. Join. Get off your butt.

Be patient. It takes time.

I like to call my stellar advice Infinite Wisdom. Infinite Wisdom is that well of knowledge that allows you to quickly size up any situation and offer a plausible solution. It’s especially effective when the situation involves other people. In fact the more removed you are from the situation the better your advice.

In other words, Infinite Wisdom only works when you’re giving it – usually unsolicited – to other people.

So now what?

Think I’ll add strawberry rhubarb mini pies from Costco to my list of stellar friend-making advice. My Infinite Wisdom just got a lot more palatable.

8 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

8 Responses to My Infinite Wisdom on Making Friends

  1. Hello, my friend! I am going to add my Infinite Wisdom which comes from moving from points within New York State, then to points within Arizona, then to Michigan and now being on the road. Check out Meetup.com in your area. Look for groups that interest you and then look at the meetups scheduled. When I moved to Michigan, I joined a self-help book club (right up your alley!), a walking group, and a bicycling group. That introduced me to dozens of people very quickly. One member of the book club invited me on a hike which introduced me to more people. In my walking group, I met a gal who I invited to dinner to get to know her better. I even started my swap group on Meetup and then from that, made wonderful friends who I met up with every month for several years. Even now on the road, I go to Meetup.com to look for various classes and activities. So check it out!

    • ksdowney@gmail.com

      I appreciate your Infinite Wisdom my friend. I know you’ve lived this scenario. Meet up is a great tip. Thank you.

  2. Myra

    I too have enjoyed following your fearless travels and now your move. I agree that friends are ” what makes my life go round .” Keeping old ones , check ! Making new ines in a completely new environment., why I haven’t done the ; post retirement move . I’ll just follow your blog and learn from you . And try not to send you unsolicited advice! The song I must sing or quote at least once a month! Learned as a child and my sorority made us sing it ! Probably will be the last words I mumble out in my last day . Actually, that would be ok!😀

    • ksdowney@gmail.com

      Thanks for following our adventures Myra. Greatly appreciate your support. This making friends thing is more of a challenge than I expected – but that’s ok. It’s all part of the journey. Hope you’re enjoying retirement.

  3. Linda Stanford-Wortman

    I love following your blog. You have transitioned so well from your RV back to a home. It is hard to make new friends. Most of mine have moved out of state and I still haven’t found that special group. I remember that song when my girls were little. It was on a VCR tape called Wee Sing. Blessings to you always!

    • ksdowney@gmail.com

      Thank you for following us Linda. Your support is greatly appreciated. It is hard to make friends but that’s ok. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. I’ll keep humming our song.

  4. Yvonne

    Paul and I were in the same situation when we uprooted 4 years ago moving to Bristol, Illinois. We too have the community filled will nice people, many of whom are friends, but just haven’t found that special bond like we had in Toledo, Ohio with our Ventura’s group.💜

    • ksdowney@gmail.com

      Thanks Yvonne. I know you and Paul have been in this exact position. You totally get it. Our Ventura group holds a special place in my heart. 💜

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *